Today’s stats: 1/4/2018
Begin Date: 1/3/2018
Starting Weight: 331.4 Today’s Weight : 327.8 Total Weight Loss: n/a
Goal: 195 Days: 1 Weight left to lose: 132.8
Today I officially began the journey to my goal of getting down to 195lbs. The first part of this is changing my diet which is always difficult for the first few days. I began an anti inflammatory diet yesterday that I will be on for 30 days.
I believe an anti inflammatory diet is the most beneficial to losing weight because inflammation is the leading cause of diseases, health issues and ultimately stress hormones. Cortisol is the last thing I want flowing through my body as I am trying to lose weight as that stress hormone can severely impede weight loss and make the body do all sorts of things that just cause you to hold onto fat and to also overeat.
I will say this is not easy. You need people that will support you in this, someone you can count on to call in moments of weakness where your brain or your stomach is trying to tell you to say “aw the hell with this, lets just order that sub, that pizza, oh this little snack won’t hurt” all lies, all traps to make you fail and the last thing you want to do is fail. I know every time I fail it is guilt served with a side of fries and a burger or a slice of pizza and/or wings. Yep and what does that do begins the guilt , failure cycle which just leads to more stress and more weight gain its a trap plain and simple.
So for now I am forging ahead while trying to be mindful of this. 30 days feels like an eternity right now. My brain is screaming out every excuse it can come up with, my mood is foul, and I am very negative. It is ridiculous that I am cognizant of these things yet still lack the ability to shut it all down. However for each day I break past this is another day my fortitude and resilience builds.
Weight loss is never easy, its like mourning the loss of an old friend that you’ve had a tumultuous relationship with; one minute they make you feel great and the next they hurt you or let you down. Maybe being overweight is more akin to a self inflicted Stockholm syndrome, you feel guilty about your weight but yet become defensive when anyone brings up your weight or eating habits but those weight and eating habits are exactly what is causing you harm. At the same time you always run back to food in moments of stress, lack of sleep or any number of reasons it is your go to. Yet the bad food is what is abusing your body, your life and cutting it shorter every day.
Many people have underlying emotions ties to food. When emotional they overeat, they crave lots of carbs, fats etc. obviously a stress response manifesting physically. So in essence I guess bad food habits and overeating’s underlying factors does fit Stockholm syndrome you are hostage to a particular part of your brain and stomach that makes you want this to feel temporarily better only to throw you into guilt and blaming yourself. Funny how when you sit down and write out things you can suddenly come up with new concepts and new ways to think about a subject.
This has given me much to think about. For anyone reading this I don’t prepare any of this material ahead of time I just write where my mind goes on this subject along with chronicling whatever my progress is and the why and how of it. I would say if anything find your outlet that gets your mind thinking. Whether it be writing to yourself, to someone else (even if it is a fictitious person that you have no intention of ever delivering that writing to it may help get past your minds barrier of bullshit and access your direct brain being able to do that I would say is the most powerful skill you could ever have as it’s a raw and unfiltered data stream of whats really going on. It doesn’t have all the excuses and layers of bullshit added to it or distracted fractured thinking. It is focused and raw.
Anyways that is all I have for now, until again.