Today’s stats: 1/23/2018
Starting Weight: 331.4 Today’s Weight : 319.2 Total Weight Loss: 12.2
Goal: 195 Days: 20 Weight left to lose: 124.2
Well I made it through my birthday weekend without breaking my anti inflammatory diet. I am now at 20 on it. I would have expected to be down at least 3 to 5 lbs lower in weight but instead I went up .6 overnight. Not sure why either as I stuck to proper eating. However if I have a drop tomorrow then it may explain it. I now only have 10 days left on the anti inflammatory diet and have passed the halfway mark.
Tonight I may eat one of my pre-made meals for dinner to see if that makes a difference. I am wondering if the dinners my girlfriend has been making are causing issues. While they are compliant I feel they are carb heavy meals. I also felt like crap yesterday though too. I was extremely tired and had a killer headache to boot.
Tonight I really need to catch up on sleep. I have been playing Zelda BOTW every night and I think that is effecting my sleep as well. I’m also struggling with the reality of being another year older and asking myself how many people my age still play video games. It seems my generation is it now an accepted thing for an adult male to continue playing video games but I feel as though my father, grandfather and great grandfather and beyond would have done no such thing except for maybe playing retro arcade games to remember their younger years (not that video games have been around that long).
I think I need to refocus my attention on getting things done. I have been basically just wasting time since the start of the new year. I think part of it is I needed to relax a little and find something enjoyable to do for awhile that was not work related. I also think it is partial escapism. I was very stressed out and burn out until January hit and Q4 concluded.
I have a lot of things I want to accomplish and with this years birthday it is making it even more pertinent. I am on the other side now looking back at where I was, where I got to and where I am going and so far if tomorrow was the end for me I would truly be filled with broken dreams and regret. I am now approaching oblivion even quicker now and I am kicking and screaming all the way. I think I really need to re-prioritize things and figure out what is important to me.
I do know one thing I want to beat this obesity fight I want to accomplish something I have never been able to before and that is losing all of my weight and becoming the lowest weight I can possibly be. I’ve been down to 225lbs before but that was almost 2 decades ago and it didn’t last and I was still fat. I was at 12% body fat having come down from 36% but I wanted 6 to 7% body fat. I wanted the washboard abs but like many I did not stick to it. Now I am more determined then ever to reach that goal. However the lack of progress for days on end is very demotivating.
As I am getting older I am also very concerned about my health the past couple of days it has felt like I am having chest pains but it may also be gas/ indigestion. Last night my blood pressure was up out of its normal range. I was playing Zelda, I am wondering if video games are causing my blood pressure to go up. If so it may be another reason to quit them all together. I don’t feel like having a heart attack over a video game, so if I check my BP before and after playing video games and find it it getting elevated after playing then I will have no choice but to eliminate them.
Like I said before I feel like maybe they should be eliminated, while they are a nice escape they are a waste of time. A friend recently gave me advice his grandfather gave him which was basically if you enjoy what you are doing, whatever it is, it is not a waste of time. While I largely agree with this statement my logical side disagrees and says define enjoyment. Are you being hooked into the game because of the mechanics and sense of accomplishment or because you really enjoy running across an expansive virtual world and slaying monsters and finding things. In other words is that enjoyment “manufactured” and I am confusing enjoyment with an exploit of my serotonin using human psychology (via a rewards system; treasures, food, equipment upgrades) levied against me unsuspectingly by the video game company? After all getting more people hooked on the game gets them more money to meet sales expectations and quotas. So while my time that is spent (that I can never get back) controlling some character on screen, mining for items to sell so I can buy equipment upgrades and slaying monsters for drops for hours on end what do I really get in return ? Nothing that benefits me in the real world; except maybe a distraction from whatever is causing me anxiety, grief, pain etc. instead of just dealing with those things.
I think of this video when I think of time being spent wastefully.
<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/BOksW_NabEk” frameborder=”0″ allow=”autoplay; encrypted-media” allowfullscreen></iframe>
It really puts things in perspective.
Anyways I’ve gone off topic I think I needed to just clear my head space a little. Keeping my finger crossed that tomorrow I see more weight loss.